Overcoming Obstacles And Light At The End Of The Tunnel!

Life is a crazy thing but a good thing indeed. It will throw many surprises at you, and at times you might not expect it. Just over three months ago it threw a surprise at me and it was a big one. My roommate Derek and I left our house to meet some other teammates on campus for a bike ride, then next thing I knew I was waking up in a helicopter. They told me I had been hit by a car then back to being blacked out I went until I woke up to a guy putting stitches in my face. By the time they had finished stitching up my face Mom, Dad, Simon and a car full of friends from Boone had arrived to see me. I was super confused at the entire situation since I had no memory from the accident and still do not to this day nor probably ever will. Soon the doctors would tell me that I had a subdural hematoma on my brain, punctured my lung, broken five transverse vertebra in my back and had twenty or so stitches in my face. From the moment the doctors broke the news of all my injuries I knew I was going to be faced with a painful uphill battle but as I was laying in that ICU room I promised myself that I would get through this and come back stronger than I had ever been before and I am still working to make that promise a reality today. Little did I know, was that the stitches, broken bones in my back and the punctured lung would be the least of my problems. A few days after the accident I would realize that somehow through the accident I had become overpowered with panic attacks and anxiety in every situation. Due to the panic attacks and anxiety I have had the most difficult three months I could have ever imagined. I had always heard of people saying how bad anxiety/panic/depression could be but I never believed it even close to the extent that I got to see it first hand. When I say that it takes every bit of fun out of the world, I am not exaggerating. It makes every single situation, even of the things you love, become miserable. It takes your ability to function and your want to live to a level of zero. I would say that I am usually the goofiest, most upbeat, excited, loving kid that I can be but the anxiety brought me to the darkest corners of life and places that I thought I would never experience. At the peak of it, even I thought it would be better to be dead than to live with this. When its at its peak it literally changes the person you are and causes you to think the craziest thoughts where even death seems like a plausible answer. Though I never would take those thoughts serious, it was scary to have those images and thoughts cross through my mind many times a day. When your dealing with it at its peak you feel as if it will never go away but now I am finally getting through it and seeing light at the end of the tunnel. It has been the toughest thing I have ever had to deal with and that I can say without any hesitation. The head and mind is a very crazy thing and even now as I look back at it at its worst, I still cant even try to make sense of how or why it was like it was. One thing I do understand is the support I had from day one of the accident and that I have had my entire life has helped me get through this.  I can't begin to explain the support that my Mother has shown me my entire life and how supportive, understanding and comforting she has been through this horrifying part of my life. She is my best friend and the person I can go to in any situation regardless of what is going on. My brother for his wisdom he has even at a young age and the inspiring notes and song lyrics he left for me when I was home, my father for always finding a way to motivate and encourage me to keep going and my extended family have done everything in their ability to help me get through this. My friends have been there to listen and support me as well in every minute of need especially my roommate and great friend Derek who was with me when the car hit me and has lifted me up ever since. Also my coach/mentor Sean Weddell for showing support, understanding and teaching me there is way more to life than bike racing though we both get distracted with that at times.  I cant begin to name every person who has helped me for I would still be typing this blog months from now if I did so. One thing I can say is that I am thankful for each and every person who has assisted through this situation or anytime throughout my life. Last but most importantly I would like to thank God for helping me get through this and making me a stronger and better person because of it. I have always prayed for as long as I can remember but since the accident my prayers have grown more and more. The more I saw myself praying to get through my situation the more I saw of myself praying for others. Life is about love and helping people and prayer is one of the easiest yet most effective ways to assist others. Every person you meet is fighting a battle and deserves to be shown love regardless of how small or large. God is really that rock that you can build your house on and be the security you need for your life. Now as I am becoming myself again and feel all the love that life has to offer I can once again smile uncontrollably and hopefully make it contagious. For life is sweet and should be lived to the fullest. I really believe that God will never give us a situation that we can not handle and that is one thing that I repeatedly reflected on as I fought with the anxiety/panic/depression. Now that the light is back on I can get back to chasing my dreams, dreams that are taller than mountains but ones that are attainable if I commit myself to them and allow God to lead the journey. Life does get difficult at times but always remember that you can get through any tough situation and continue to chase your dreams. Once again I would like to thank every single person who has helped me get through this horrifying part of my life and know that I am forever thankful for it. GO CHASE YOUR DREAMS!

Quote of the Day: "Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out" - John Wooden

Back to chasing my dreams this past weekend (4/28-29) at the Pro/1/2 Tour de Moore 110 mile road race and Brick City Criterium!